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Lifestyle Tips

A Little Milestone That Ultimately Changed My Life

I just granny jogged 2 miles in the sand.

I’m so relieved I could cry.

That sounds overdramatic, but hear me out.

A year ago, in April 2021, I had to stop working out completely.

Like most fitness enthusiasts, I don’t work out just to like what I see in the mirror. Fitness is one of my main tools for coping with stress. It’s a crucial part of my mental health care.

Plus, it helped me reverse childhood allergies and asthma. I used to get 4 months of asthmatic bronchitis every fall. I had to be on a nebulizer, that machine you breathe with for 10 minutes at a time, every couple of hours even during the night.

I distinctly remember the terror of my lungs closing completely, so that I was gasping but literally not a drop of air was entering. I instinctively learned to relax in order to encourage my lungs to open up, and intuitively discovered that I could press two places on my upper chest to help this process. Remembering this now, I’m realizing that this was the beginning of my mind-body awareness journey.

I started working out the summer after high school because I thought I was fat. It quickly became much more than that.

By living a fit and healthy lifestyle, I got to the point that I treated my fall allergies only with oregano oil. I had an inhaler but didn’t use it for years at a time, only if I got a bad chest cold.

It was life-changing to trust my body, to feel strong, to have mental clarity, and experience the improvements in my mood.

In college, most of my friends would study nonstop for days before finals. I would make sure I went for a run the night before.

Over the next decade-plus, fitness slowly became part of my career. I even had a martial arts gym at one point.

Fast forward to April 2021.

I had injured my knee running. It was the latest of a series of overuse injuries up and down my right side, from my neck to my knee. I even felt discomfort in my right foot and feared that would be next.

In 2012, I tripped on a loose plank on the Rockaway Beach boardwalk while running and injured my right hip. (For those of you familiar, yes, this was a few months before Hurricane Sandy, back when the boardwalk was made of planks of wood.)

I couldn’t immediately get it treated due to a gap in insurance and other factors. It healed badly.

When I finally did get treatment, I became pregnant soon after. I had a rough pregnancy and made dealing with that my priority. Treatment for my injury was on hold again.

With pregnancy, the injury snowballed to my lower back. I started treatment again after my son was born, but they missed something.

What likely happened was that, due to the hip injury, my pregnancy expanded weirdly. Then, my son’s birth didn’t go smoothly and involved 4 hours of pushing followed by an emergency C-section. This was likely when a tiny muscle directly interior to the injured hip also got injured. My current physical therapist definitely doesn’t think the location of this injured muscle is a coincidence.

Yet, despite me telling this entire story, with all the red flags to check for pelvic floor issues, multiple practitioners over the next 9 years missed this crucial component of my injury.

This injured pelvic floor muscle is involved in things like breathing and stability. Without it working properly, my entire kinetic chain had to compensate. In other words, all of my muscles had to change the way they worked together. This is what caused the series of overuse injuries up and down my right side over the next several years.

Unfortunately, the various practitioners I saw treated each injury separately or thought the core issue was overactive nerves.

Overactive nerves are part of the issue for sure. Basically, after all, they’ve been through, my muscles are traumatized. They react to everyday stimuli by tensing up as if there is danger, injury, or pain. These unhelpful contractions affect my entire kinetic chain.

That little pelvic floor muscle had been contracted for at least 7 years by the time a talented sports medicine doctor found the issue. Recognizing the overactive nerves was important, but without addressing that little muscle directly my kinetic chain continued to function improperly.

That is why, a year ago, I had to completely stop working out.

Prior to that, my practitioners had encouraged me to keep up my routine to the extent possible. That wasn’t the best idea.

My current physical therapist said that I could keep up my routine as long as it didn’t cause flare-ups.

Well, anything but lying down caused flare-ups. I couldn’t lie in bed all day, but, out of fear of more overuse injuries, I stopped doing any workouts beyond physical therapy, and eventually light walking and stretching when I could handle it.

Physical therapy exercises, light walking, and stretching are NOT enough to provide the physical and mental health benefits of fitness that I had come to depend on.

It’s been a rough year.

I leaned deeper into my nutrition and mindfulness regimens to compensate, but that wasn’t enough.

I did ok mentally but felt the difference. My mood was consistently a couple of notches lower than before.

Physically was worse. After a year, my childhood asthma and allergies are coming back. Even with a diet so strict that I started seeing signs of malnutrition, I have had a cough and congestion. I have been getting an inflammatory response to too many foods. My allergist recommended I use iron infusions to combat anemia so I can stick to the restricted diet, rather than consume foods that are contributing to flare-ups.

Unfortunately, I don’t react well to asthma meds or supplements. The anxiety usually isn’t worth it. I’ve been going back and forth between dealing with the effects of asthma and dealing with the effects of the meds, depending on what I can better tolerate at the moment.

I’ve started taking allergy meds frequently and had the worst swelling I’ve ever experienced from being around pets.

But I still couldn’t work out.

For the first few months after that knee injury, my physical therapist worked on getting me to the point that I didn’t dread the subway stairs on the way to her sessions. We also started retraining my breathing pattern.

After four months, we moved from breathing while lying down to breathing while standing up. It was frustratingly slow progress.

By the end of last season, I was permitted to try three 2-minute runs in a day, as long as there was no flare-up. I felt minor flare-ups, but the boost in my mental health was worth it sometimes.

I stopped these s short runs in the winter. It sucked to be in the NYC cold in workout gear when I couldn’t run enough to warm up. I shifted my focus to other things.

About a month ago, my physical therapy exercises finally crossed over into the realm of light workouts. That’s still not enough to experience the benefits I had come to depend on, but there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

Now that it’s warming up, I tested running again. My physical therapist had me run on a treadmill and cleared me to try it.

Cautiously, yesterday I did a walk-run with six or so sets of 3-minute walks followed by 2-minute light runs. My knees weren’t happy but they weren’t too bad either.

I woke up today expecting to feel the familiar pain in my back and knees, but it wasn’t there. I felt great!

So I set out again and decided to see how long I could go beyond 2 minutes. I granny jogged, but I went for over 2 miles in the sand without stopping.

Unless you’ve experienced it, I can’t describe the sense of relief I felt. I am unconditioned enough that this short granny jog felt like a cardio workout. I had been yearning for this feeling for a year! The immediate peace, calm, opening of my lungs – I live for this!

It will be a long road back to the state in which I wake up on a Saturday and run 10 miles for fun. It will be 6-12 months before I can lift what I used to without defaulting to the dysfunctional kinetic chain. But I’ll get there.

At the urging of my amazing team, I’ll share my journey back to health and fitness.

Of course, if any of you feel stuck in your own journeys or want some support feel free to reach out.

Thank you to all of you who have been supporting and encouraging me along the way.

———————————-
𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘸, 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯. 𝘋𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘺 – 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘫𝘰𝘪𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺.

𝘍𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥, 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 4 𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘵𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘧𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘮 𝘢𝘵 𝘢 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵. 𝘐𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱𝘴 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵 𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘰𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘪𝘻𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥, 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦. 𝘋𝘔 “Stopped by Nothing” 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘺. ✅

Here’s one of my high-profile programs, feel free to check it out and then DM me about it!

Single Mom Fit to Thrive 30-Day Challenge.

4 Every Day Dating Rules You Aren’t Following

some of the posts I see in single parent groups about dating disgust me.

Besides being a single parent myself, a big part of my work is keeping up with the issues that affect single parents. Therefore, I scroll through related Facebook groups a lot.

First, let me acknowledge that most people are lovely. This post doesn’t represent the majority of single parents in these groups.

That being said, there are a few recurring themes I notice around dating that disturb me.

So, for today’s sarcasm-sprinkled rant, here are four dating rules that should be obvious. If we all adhere to them, we’ll make dating better for ourselves and everyone else.

1-Use recent pictures that are representative of what you look like in real life.

This is one of the most common complaints I see, and rightfully so.

People often look different in pictures than in real life. While dating, try to choose pictures that most represent what your date will see. I even post no-makeup pics. Then, you’ll end up on dates with people who want to meet YOU, not the imaginary person they thought you were.

It makes sense to show pictures of you looking your best, but keep in mind that dishonesty rubs people the wrong way. If your date sees you in real life and you’re 10 years older or look like a completely different person without the filter, they have every right to be annoyed. No, they’re not being shallow. You’re being manipulative.

2-Know what you want and state it clearly as soon as possible (and appropriate).

Being clear on what you want takes some soul searching. It’s easy to default to what we think we are SUPPOSED to want, instead of what we actually want in the depths of our hearts.

Thankfully, today there are communities and apps to support pretty much anything you desire. So can you let go of the “supposed to”s and let your internal compass point you toward what you really want?

Once you have clarity, share it as soon as possible. Put it in your dating profile. Chat about it before you meet.

Of course, disclose what is appropriate for the stage you’re at. I’m not saying to share your bedroom needs in your first message or state in your dating profile that you want someone who will make babies with you (though there are apps on which both of those things are encouraged if that’s what you want).

3-When someone is honest with you about what they want, thank them.

I hate seeing posts bashing people who want a no strings attached hookup, or who only want to meet someone who’s looking for marriage.

People have the right to want whatever they want, and to look for people whose desires are compatible. When they’re upfront and honest about it, don’t judge them for it. Thank them for their openness and be honest about whether or not you want the same thing. If we all do this, it will be much easier to find people who are a good fit.

4-Don’t blame the other person for incompatibilities.

Sometimes, a person is out of line. I get it.

But often I see people bashing their dates for not being the person of their dreams.

“He’s too clingy.”

“She talks too much.”

“He can’t hold a conversation.”

“She chewed with her mouth open.”

No, you’re incompatible. That’s it. They’re not “too” anything. They’re just not right for you. You don’t have to be a jerk about it.

Why not take responsibility for your own preferences?

“I need someone who enjoys giving me more space.”

“I want someone who stimulates me with interesting conversation.”

You get the idea. It’s easy.

Bonus: You’ll be a less toxic person!

In conclusion, if we don’t want the dating pool to be 💩, we have to stop 💩ing in it 😜

Which of these has caused you the most grief?

———————————-
𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘸, 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯. 𝘋𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘺 – 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘫𝘰𝘪𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺.

𝘍𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥, 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 4 𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘵𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘧𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘮 𝘢𝘵 𝘢 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵. 𝘐𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱𝘴 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵 𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘰𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘪𝘻𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥, 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦. 𝘋𝘔 “Stopped by Nothing” 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘺. ✅

Here’s one of my high-profile programs, feel free to check it out and then DM me about it!

Single Mom Fit to Thrive 30-Day Challenge.

You Should Believe in Yourself and Here’s Why 

YOU DON’T HAVE TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.

But if you did believe you could do it, what would you do?

“It” is that thing you fantasize about. “It” is technically possible but feels impossible.

So I ask again if you did believe you could do it, what would you do?

There are two main possibilities.

  1. When you think through all of the details of what it would take to actually do it, you realize you don’t really want to. You just enjoy the fantasy, romanticized version of it in your head. You realize that you are actually on the right path for yourself, and this realization fills you with gratitude.
  2. You realize that if you actually believed you could do it, you would be taking steps to get it done.

This second possibility is the biggest reason people say that you won’t succeed if you don’t believe in yourself. If you believe you’re going to fail, why waste the time and energy? If you don’t believe in yourself, you probably won’t take action, and therefore not achieving “it” will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

However, let’s say you’re on board. You recognize that you have to believe in yourself. But you can’t bring yourself to actually feel confident in yourself. Maybe you’ve failed too many times in the past. Maybe you have other people telling you it’s too much of a long shot. In any case, you know it’s technically possible, but you don’t believe it will actually happen.

That’s ok! Simply go back to the question: “If you did believe it was possible, what would you do?”

And then do that.

Find out what others did to accomplish “it”.

Read autobiographies of those who were successful. Watch their interviews.

Figure out an action plan that you actually believe would get someone to that goal. Not you – just someone. Maybe, someone, you do believe in.

Then, follow that plan. It’s ok if you still don’t believe it will work, as long as you fake it. And fake it well. Imagine you are an actor in a play, and your character is whoever you think would absolutely crush this goal. Any time you’re executing the plan, do what they would do. Talk about how they would talk. Adopt their confident body language.

What would this person do when they faced setbacks? Would they see it as proof that “it” will never happen for them, or as a learning opportunity?

With enough practice, you’ll find that you start to actually become that person. You see the success of your efforts. Not always. Everyone fails sometimes. But you’ll also succeed sometimes.

As the evidence piles up, you’ll start to believe that maybe, just maybe, you actually can do it.

And maybe, in the end, you actually do. But even if not, you accomplish and grow so much more than you would have if you never had the courage to fake it.

———————————-
𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘸, 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯. 𝘋𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘺 – 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘫𝘰𝘪𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺.

𝘍𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥, 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 4 𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘵𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘧𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘮 𝘢𝘵 𝘢 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵. 𝘐𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱𝘴 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵 𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘰𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘪𝘻𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥, 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦. 𝘋𝘔 “Stopped by Nothing” 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘺. ✅

Here’s one of my high-profile programs, feel free to check it out and then DM me about it!

Single Mom Fit to Thrive 30-Day Challenge.

4 Dating Rules That You Aren’t Actually Doing

Some of the posts I see in single parent groups about dating disgust me.

Besides being a single parent myself, a big part of my work is keeping up with the issues that affect single parents. Therefore, I scroll through related Facebook groups a lot.

First, let me acknowledge that most people are lovely. This post doesn’t represent the majority of single parents in these groups.

That being said, there are a few recurring themes I notice around dating that disturb me.

So, for today’s sarcasm-sprinkled rant, here are four dating rules that should be obvious. If we all adhere to them, we’ll make dating better for ourselves and everyone else.

1-Use recent pictures that are representative of what you look like in real life.

This is one of the most common complaints I see, and rightfully so.

People often look different in pictures than in real life. Try to choose pictures that most represent what your date will see. I even post no-makeup pics. Then, you’ll end up on dates with people who want to meet YOU, not the imaginary person they thought you were.

It makes sense to show pictures of you looking your best, but keep in mind that dishonesty rubs people the wrong way. If your date sees you in real life and you’re 10 years older or look like a completely different person without the filter, they have every right to be annoyed. No, they’re not being shallow. You’re being manipulative.

2-Know what you want and state it clearly as soon as possible (and appropriate).

Being clear on what you want takes some soul searching. It’s easy to default to what we think we are SUPPOSED to want, instead of what we actually want in the depths of our hearts.

Thankfully, today there are communities and apps to support pretty much anything you desire. So can you let go of the “supposed to”s and let your internal compass point you toward what you really want?

Once you have clarity, share it as soon as possible. Put it in your dating profile. Chat about it before you meet.

Of course, disclose what is appropriate for the stage you’re at. I’m not saying to share your bedroom needs in your first message or state in your dating profile that you want someone who will make babies with you (though there are apps on which both of those things are encouraged if that’s what you want).

3-When someone is honest with you about what they want, thank them.

I hate seeing posts bashing people who want a no strings attached hookup, or who only want to meet someone who’s looking for marriage.

People have the right to want whatever they want, and to look for people whose desires are compatible. When they’re upfront and honest about it, don’t judge them for it. Thank them for their openness and be honest about whether or not you want the same thing. If we all do this, it will be much easier to find people who are a good fit.

4-Don’t blame the other person for incompatibilities.

Sometimes, a person is out of line. I get it.

But often I see people bashing their dates for not being the person of their dreams.

“He’s too clingy.”

“She talks too much.”

“He can’t hold a conversation.”

“She chewed with her mouth open.”

No, you’re incompatible. That’s it. They’re not “too” anything. They’re just not right for you. You don’t have to be a jerk about it.

Why not take responsibility for your own preferences?

“I need someone who enjoys giving me more space.”

“I want someone who stimulates me with interesting conversation.”

You get the idea. It’s easy.

Bonus: You’ll be a less toxic person!

In conclusion, if we don’t want the dating pool to be 💩, we have to stop 💩ing in it 😜

Which of these has caused you the most grief?

———————————-
𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘸, 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯. 𝘋𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘺 – 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘫𝘰𝘪𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺.

𝘍𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥, 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 4 𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘵𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘧𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘮 𝘢𝘵 𝘢 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵. 𝘐𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱𝘴 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵 𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘰𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘪𝘻𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥, 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦. 𝘋𝘔 “Stopped by Nothing” 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘺. ✅

Here’s one of my high-profile programs, feel free to check it out and then DM me about it!

Single Mom Fit to Thrive 30-Day Challenge.

IS THIS THE REASON WHY YOUR DATING LIFE SUCKS?

Working with single parents, I hear a lot about dating.

It’s one of the top sore spots for many people, especially single parents.

It doesn’t have to be.

I’ve learned from my own experience and from colleagues who specialize in relationships and dating that there are many ways in which we often sabotage ourselves. Here are five of the top ways you could be making your dating life miserable.

𝟏. 𝐇𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 “𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞”, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧 𝐮𝐠𝐥𝐲 𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭.

It’s called “the one” for a reason: True compatibility is rare. Not so rare that you can’t find someone, but rare enough that it will usually take many attempts before you find them.

People who enjoy dating appreciate the connections they make along the way to finding the one if that’s what they’re seeking.

Most of the time a connection won’t last past the first few dates.

Even when it does turn into something, it usually won’t last more than a few months. And keep in mind, most people have at least a few relationships that end before finding their soulmate.

This doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you or with them. It simply means that it isn’t the right match.

In fact, getting into the habit of seeing it this way can help us eliminate our own toxic tendencies that prevent us from attracting quality people.

When something doesn’t work out it can be tempting to make the other person “wrong”. They’re too this, not enough that, a narcissist, bipolar, you name it. Sometimes a situation really is unhealthy, but other times it’s simply not the right fit.

You have every right not to want someone for any reason under the sun, but the exact thing that turns you off could make them the perfect match for someone else. If you want to be the type of person who attracts a healthy relationship, unless it’s something egregious, appreciate the unique person in front of you, even if they’re not the right match.

On the other hand, don’t blame yourself either.

Statistically, most people won’t work out. It’s not because you’re not good enough, or not worthy of love, or too old, or unattractive, or anything else your monkey mind can come up with.

If there’s a pattern of the same situation happening over and over again, do your inner work and seek help if it’s available to you. We all have inner work to do. Thankfully, we don’t have to reach enlightenment to find love.

When something doesn’t work out, recognize that it happens, and be thankful that you are now freed up to find someone who IS right for you.

𝟐. 𝐇𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬.

If you have kids, or you’re poly, or you only have sex in marriage, you know those are deal breakers for some people. Whatever yours are, make them clear from the beginning, even in your dating profile. Then people who don’t want that will swipe the other way, and you’ll never have to deal with their rejection. Even better, you’ll attract people who actually WANT that thing.

So many people don’t want to date a mom. Yet, I’ve only been rejected for that reason a couple of times. I always have a picture of Eric in my profile, even if it’s me hugging him and his face isn’t visible. Early on I casually mention him when we start chatting. The guys I end up chatting with extensively or meeting in person don’t care that I have a kid. Several have told me that seeing me as a mom made them like me MORE because they want someone like that as the mother of their own kids.

𝟑. 𝐃𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧.

The people who have fun dating also get ghosted, told off, stood up, and treated like crap. The difference is that they quickly end the interaction and move on, letting that experience roll off their backs.

There are assholes, deadbeats, and gold diggers out there. You will run into them. Don’t be surprised. Don’t take it personally.

More commonly, it’s just not the right match.

When something doesn’t work out, those who enjoy dating handle it differently internally. If it’s early on and the person loses interest, they shrug it off. It might sting, but they move on.

When it doesn’t work out after months or years, they handle any pain they feel in a healthy way. They appreciate the wonderful experiences they had with the person while it lasted. They look back on their time together fondly, not as a waste of time or a failure.

So many people have a wonderful relationship with cherished memories, and then define it by its ending.

Overall, those who enjoy dating define their dating life by the good times they have, don’t take rejection personally and get out of bad situations quickly.

𝟒. 𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐮𝐩 𝐬𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧.

If you don’t want to get hurt again, don’t date. Ever again.

Forming a deep connection with someone involves vulnerability, and vulnerability involves the risk of pain.

Even if you meet your soulmate, you will occasionally hurt each other. And chances are one of you will die before the other.

Even the best relationships involve some pain.

If you keep your walls up, you will create surface-level, unfulfilling relationships. Doesn’t that hurt?

You will also repel most people who want a deep connection. Again, that’s its own form of pain.

Keeping your guard up doesn’t prevent you from getting hurt. It just changes the nature of the hurt.

Being vulnerable doesn’t mean letting people in right away. It means proceeding in good faith, without suspicion.

It’s healthy to wait to pursue a relationship until you’ve had the opportunity to get to know someone at a deep level.

Yes, “deep level” is subjective and will mean different things to different people. But while it’s unhealthy to jump into a relationship with any halfway decent human who is willing to commit to you, it’s also unhealthy to refuse to be vulnerable at all.

Waiting to get into a relationship doesn’t have to come from fear or suspicion. It can simply come from needing to know who it is you’re agreeing to be in a relationship with, which takes time.

When you do meet someone who seems right, go for it. Progress at whatever speed feels authentic to you. Definitely don’t dive in out of desperation, but don’t hold back out of fear either.

I find it helpful to consider what level of intimacy feels right to me based on how well I know someone.

I might feel a strong connection and know a lot about them based on our conversations, but have I seen their place? Do I know how they live? Have I seen the way they interact with family, friends, and strangers? Have I experienced them in low moments of disappointment, fear, or grief? Do I understand how they make decisions? What risks do they take?

Or, have I seen all the evidence I need that they are a good fit, but am tempted to hold off only because I don’t trust my judgment, or because “you never know”?

We all have to find the balance that’s right for us. Don’t assume that painful experiences are evidence that you were naive and should keep your guard up more next time. Learn whatever lessons you can, but acknowledge that sometimes even with the greatest care it still happens. You’re not supposed to know in advance, you’re only supposed to react accordingly once you do find out someone’s true colors.

𝟓. 𝐓𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 “𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤” 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐟 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠.

You’re not shallow if you aren’t feeling it with someone. Even if they’re an amazing person, if you’re not interested, let it go.

If you want a relationship, the goal isn’t to find a good person. The goal is the find the right person for you – true compatibility.

If you think someone could be a good match but there are red flags, hold off on getting into anything serious until you know whether the situation is healthy.

Definitely don’t try to make it work because you feel a strong connection and think they’ll change. Yes, some people change. Let that happen FIRST before you consider dating them. Yes, people who are changing need support. Support them as the acquaintance they are. Keep healthy boundaries.

Overall, a healthy relationship feels great. Yes, you get on each other’s nerves sometimes. Yes, there are rough patches. But those should be rare. If you have to “make things work” from early on, chances are it’s unhealthy.

When I first started dating I was horribly guilty of #5. In adulthood, I got better, but still made mistakes along the way. To this day, I have to remind myself not to settle when I meet someone who is ALMOST the right match, a wonderful person who is mostly compatible but not quite the right fit.

Which of these do you struggle with?


𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘸, 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯. 𝘋𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘺 – 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘫𝘰𝘪𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺.

𝘍𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥, 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 4 𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘵𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘧𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘮 𝘢𝘵 𝘢 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵. 𝘐𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱𝘴 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵 𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘰𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘪𝘻𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥, 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦. 𝘋𝘔 “Stopped by Nothing” 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘺. ✅

Here’s one of my high-profile programs, feel free to check it out and then DM me about it!

Single Mom Fit to Thrive 30-Day Challenge.

I Love Triggers. I Love Getting Triggered

I’m being triggered right now.

Triggers expose areas for growth. Things that, if addressed, make me a wiser, happier person.

They’re like trail markers guiding me to the summit.

Right now, as I write this, I think am being blown off by someone I am supposed to have a date with tonight.

We said we’d meet up this evening but didn’t nail down where or what time.

He texted me this morning. We chatted. I asked where he wanted to meet up. He mentioned he’s exhausted.

It’s 6:30 pm. Still no plans.

I could be wrong. He could be busy at work. In that case, I can explore why I so easily assumed that I was being rejected.

Whether I’m right or wrong, the way my mind is reacting right now is valuable.

I have a feeling of dread, and the little voice in the back of my head is attempting to replay our conversations to figure out where I went wrong.

We all have a little voice like that. I call it the Toddler Brain because that’s about how rational, mature, and helpful it is.

If I’m reading the situation right, that little voice has a feeling of DREAD because some guy I’ve never met lost interest after I said I don’t sleep with people on the first date. Toddler Brains have a tendency to overreact.

Am I reading the situation right, or am I assuming I’ll be rejected?

(I had to pause writing for a bit. Now it’s 9:18 pm and I definitely read it right. Bullet dodged.)

But back to triggers.

Triggers are habitual reactions.

Something happens. Our brain decides that it is similar enough to a negative emotional experience from our past that it fires up the same neural pathways, and we experience that emotion all over again.

Often it comes with memories of other events that have triggered that same emotional response.

Sometimes we reflexively repeat certain behaviors.

For me, it’s this feeling of dread of being rejected.

It’s memories of the boys in my elementary school cafeteria teasing each other:

“Nicole is your girlfriend!”

“Ewwww no she’s not!”

“You’re Nicole’s boyfriend? Gross!”

HOW INTERESTING THE HUMAN MIND IS!

Now, what do I do with this data?

(Yes, I view emotions and thoughts as data.)

I notice them. I marvel at how fascinating my mind is. The emotion keeps repeating, like waves coming in and going out. My mind flashes to times I’ve been painfully rejected by people I cared about, all across my life.

Clearly, I haven’t let go of my fear of rejection, which started in early childhood.

And…that’s it. Done.

What I used to do is let my Toddler Brain run the show.

“What did I do wrong? Maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned that I don’t sleep with people on the first date. Am I to prude? What’s wrong with me? Am I going to die alone? I should text him again and try to fix it!”

I don’t even bother to argue back with my Toddler Brain anymore. It isn’t capable of realizing how utterly ridiculous it’s being.

“He hurt me! How can people do stuff like that?”

He can’t hurt me. I don’t care about him. Heck, for all I know he isn’t real.

My own habitual reaction was unpleasant. That’s all. Nobody hurt anybody.

I move on with my day, letting it ramble in the background.

I don’t swear off dating. I don’t think all men are assholes. I don’t put my guard way up or announce in my dating profile that if you want to have sex on the first date you should swipe the other way.

I DEFINITELY don’t text him again and try to fix whatever my Toddler Brain decides I did wrong.

What actually helps with a toddler tantrum is trying to understand her, being calm and present, or even doing nothing. Eventually, she’ll stop.

Along these lines, there are a few practices I can use to help myself now and to diminish this trigger over time.

My favorite is what I’ve already been doing. Just observe objectively. Don’t resist, and don’t feel any of the thoughts or feelings that arise. Super simple, takes no time out of my day and doesn’t require me to understand the origins of the trigger or anything.

Others are parts work and inner child work. Both are valuable. I’ll try one of them before bed.

Parts work and inner child work don’t naturally resonate with me. I resisted trying them because they feel silly. I naturally gravitate toward concrete, objective solutions. These involve using your imagination to trigger epiphanies and rewire your habitual reactions. Not my cup of tea, but every time I use them I have an epiphany.

Can’t argue with the results.

What are your triggers? What do you do about them?


Welcome to the discussion, if you’re new. Don’t be shy – feel free to join in the discussion below or to message me privately.

I have three spots left to test my new program at a discount for those who are interested. It enables single parents and others in difficult situations to optimize their bodies and mind, get through difficult times, and create a life they enjoy. DM “Stopped by Nothing” to see if you qualify.

Here’s one of my high-profile programs; feel free to look it over and then DM me with any questions!

Single Mom Fit to Thrive 30-Day Challenge.

You Should Be Feeling Awesome As a Single Mom!

Ok, I need to rant.

’m sick of the narrative that single parents are doomed to live a life of hardship and misery, and if we have a spare moment we spend it crying about how lonely we are without a partner.

F$&@ that!

We can and deserve to strive for a life we love as much as anyone else.

We shouldn’t lower our standards.

No, we can’t do it the same way as others, but we can still get to the same place by taking a different path.

I’m finding that one of the most rebellious things I can do is love my life as a single mom.

Because that goes against the narrative.

Why is the idea of striving for anything more than survival so radical?

Don’t settle for less.

I get that if you’re at rock bottom even striving for survival can feel so overwhelming that it’s inconceivable to imagine aiming for more.

So if you’re there, by all means, take it one step at a time.

But once you’ve escaped the flames, keep going. Don’t get complacent.

Our lives don’t have to suck until we find a new partner.

By all means, if you want to get married again go for it. I do. But we still deserve to love our lives until we find that person.

Single parent survival groups are so important and valuable. But why was it so hard for me to find a community for single parents who are thriving?

I was terrified when my husband left me because I HAD NEVER HEARD A SINGLE ACCOUNT OF A DIVORCED MOM LOVING HER LIFE AS A SINGLE WOMAN.

So fellow single parents, please brag to me about how awesome your life is. I want to hear all the positivity you’ve got.

And if it’s not awesome at the moment, feel free to vent, and hopefully, find comfort in the stories of others who have been there and finally reached the light at the end of the tunnel.

Do You Know Which Lever You Should be Pulling?

First, let me preface this by saying that I understand how crazy it might sound. Please hear me out.

So much of what we feel emotionally is biological and unrelated to the outside world, our past, or our psychological conditioning.

So much of what we feel physically, such as pain and energy levels, are rooted in our thoughts and psychological conditioning.

If you’ve failed to alleviate physical or mental ailments despite going to doctor after doctor, you might be pulling the wrong lever.

On the surface, it’s not so far-fetched. Think about it…

➡️ If mental illness was purely psychological, why would it be treated with pills?

➡️ Why do we get “hangry” if we don’t eat, or feel more cheery after a cup of coffee?

➡️ Why do we feel physically depleted when we’re depressed?

➡️ Why are we wide awake on 2 hours of sleep when we’re really excited? Or terrified?

➡️ Why do we get headaches or tension pains from stress?

We all know that our minds and bodies are connected.

But sometimes they are connected in counterintuitive ways.

Or, factors that seem like they might be a mild influence can turn out to be the main cause.

As crazy as it sounds, the following factors, alone or combined, can be enough to cause or cure mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, and brain fog – 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐬. I’ve witnessed it multiple times, including with my own clients and even in my own life.

✅ Food sensitivities, even if no physical symptoms are present

✅ Exercise

✅ Unfavorable gut microbiome

✅ Caffeine consumption

✅ Alcohol or cannabis use, even in amounts that aren’t typically considered problematic

✅ Inadequate or poor-quality sleep

Stress management and/or mindfulness practices can alleviate or even eliminate:

✅ IBS
✅ Headaches
✅ Any physical pain
✅ Asthma
✅ Low energy levels

None of this is wishful thinking or “holistic” myths.

Biological conditions affect brain function and hormones, which affect our mental health. Some gut microorganisms are even capable of secreting their own hormones!

Muscles and nerves control everything in our bodies. Some practices allow us to gain control over muscles and nerves that we normally can’t control consciously. This can allow us to relax tension pains away, remove tension that impedes gut function, or release constricted bronchial tubes.

Pain management is especially fascinating to me. Pain isn’t a sensation on its own. Sensations have to be interpreted as pain, sort of like smoke setting off an alarm. We can train our brains to interpret these sensations as just sensations, without setting off the pain alarm. I’m not saying you’ll be like a monk who can sit peacefully in flames, but the average person can learn to reduce or “turn off” some pains with a bit of practice.

So, if you’ve tried doctor after doctor or therapist after therapist with disappointing results, try pulling a different lever.


𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘸, 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯. 𝘋𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘺 – 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘫𝘰𝘪𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺.

𝘍𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥, 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 4 𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘵𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘧𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘮 𝘢𝘵 𝘢 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵. 𝘐𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱𝘴 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵 𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘰𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘪𝘻𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥, 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦. 𝘋𝘔 “Stopped by Nothing” 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘺. ✅

Here’s one of my high-profile programs, feel free to check it out and then DM me about it!

Single Mom Fit to Thrive 30-Day Challenge.

Creating REAL Hope in the Darkest Times of life

When you’re at rock bottom, sometimes hope makes all the difference.

How can we create REAL hope for ourselves in the darkest times?

I’m not talking about blind optimism or faith, though those can be helpful. I’m talking about the hope that comes from feeling like you’re on the right path, and that you have a real shot at better times ahead.

It doesn’t have to be a cosmic “right path”, and for me, it wasn’t.

It was a plan. A very long-term plan. That simple.

But a long-term plan is POWERFUL – uniquely so in dark times.

And it worked. Less than six years later I’m living my ideal life.

I speak to people all the time who shy away from what they want because it is impossible in their current circumstances. In that case, why not change your circumstances?

Because you can’t? I get it. I couldn’t either. Then why not work on changing the things that are preventing you from changing your circumstances?

If you’re tempted to roll your eyes, hear me out.

Small, incremental action can add up. It doesn’t always, but if you’re strategic it can.

In my case, I wanted to be both the provider and caregiver that I had imagined for my son before my life took an unexpected turn. It’s totally normal for a mother, especially a single mom, to have to sacrifice one for the other. I was away from my son 12-13 hours a day and so tired that I wasn’t the emotionally present caregiver I wanted to be in the little time I had with him. Plus, I was meeting our basic needs, but money was tight.

I want to acknowledge and emphasize that this is a totally normal and common situation, and both my son and I would have been fine if we had to live like that forever. But it wasn’t fulfilling for me, and I wanted to try to change things.

So, I created a very long-term plan, taking tiny actions consistently over the past several years. The path ahead wasn’t always clear, but I stayed on it, knowing in which general direction I wanted to move even if not how I would actually get to my destination.

Taking these tiny actions and knowing that there was a real chance that they would eventually get me where I wanted to go GAVE ME PEACE. I felt like I was on the right path.

I had hope.

First, I had to drastically reduce expenses to get myself through financial emergency after emergency.

Then, I was relentless in paying down debt. I considered things like bottled water or ziplock luxuries. I didn’t so much as use a tissue if I could avoid it. Small, incremental actions.

I started building a side business. I could only spend a few minutes a day on it, but I used that time in ways that would compound. For the first couple of years, I wasn’t sure if I was wasting my time.

However, I knew that whether or not I generated a significant amount of income, I would be giving myself valuable experience that I could use to improve my resume. More small, incremental actions.

I used that experience to get higher and higher-paying jobs over the next few years. Each job I got, I worked my ass off.

I implemented all of the strategies I knew to stave off stress and burnout so that I could perform at my best and be a more centered mom. I didn’t always succeed, but it made a huge difference with jobs that were considered high pressure.

I used my experience to improve upon and refine the methods I was using to optimize my body and mind until I could handle the load with minimal stress. I then tested these methods with other moms and used them to improve my side business. Small, incremental changes.

Eventually, I landed a family-friendly, work from home position, working directly with extremely successful people from whom I’m learning a ton. It’s in line with my strengths, partially because I created work experience for myself through my side business that highlighted my strengths.

Now I have a fulfilling job, a fulfilling business, and the emotional presence my son deserves. I am at every school event. His college fund already has enough to send him to a local public university. And we’re traveling the world together!

What is on your “someday” list? What do you wish was different in your life, but seems impossible to achieve? Can you make a 5, 10, or even 25 years plan to achieve it? Can you commit a few minutes a day or even a few minutes per week? Perhaps just a google search to start?

The years will pass whether we take small, incremental steps toward our dreams or stand in the same spot.


If you’ve enjoyed this article and the story of my pathway to success from being rock-bottom to a sky-high person and wish to see the footsteps I have taken to acquire a healthy and happy life inspiring people around the world, feel free to check out my program tried by many single moms around the world with the link down below.

Single Mom Fit to Thrive 30-Day Challenge.

A Busy Mom’s Guide to Healthy Foods for Any Situation

Eating healthy is a challenge in a society filled with McDonald’s, steakhouses, mall food, and diet scams. As if that’s not hard enough, add in the fact that most of us aren’t able to cook all of our meals from scratch every day.It can be challenging to follow a nutrition plan that isn’t made for your circumstances.

Sometimes, if you don’t have the right information, it can seem impossible, like healthy eating can’t work for you. Instead of trying to mold your life around your nutrition plan, why not create a nutrition plan around the realities of your life? There are ways to succeed in any situation if you know the right tricks. Here are a few examples. If you want guidance for your situation, message me. I create plans for the most difficult situations and can hold you accountable too.

At Work


All workplaces are different, with some providing daily meals and others not even having a fridge and microwave for employees to use. Here are some suggestions that can work in various situations.
Nuts and seeds – ideally raw or lightly toasted/dry roasted yourself in advance. Check the ingredients!
Dried fruits – figs, raisins, dates. These are calorically dense, but also nutrient-dense and healthy in the right amounts.

Check the ingredients for added oils, preservatives, or sugars.
Salad greens and veggies. Keep them in the fridge. Keep extra virgin olive oil and apple cider or balsamic vinegar in the pantry or your desk.


Throw pouches of wild-caught tuna or salmon on top for protein.
Raw veggies (celery, baby carrots, cherry tomatoes, etc.) dipped in hummus, guacamole, plain (dairy or non-dairy) yogurt, or salsa.

Super Busy at Home


Sometimes cooking takes a lot of time, but not much work. If you’re going to be home, you can prep something quickly and then go about your day while it sits on the stove or in the oven.

Stew

1-Saute garlic, onion, and/or ginger in a large pot.
2-Dump roughly chopped ingredients such as meat, beans, and sturdy veggies into a large pot. Even better, buy them pre-chopped if you can.
3-Add liquid, such as tomato puree, stock/bone broth, coconut cream, or water. Add enough water to cover everything.
4-Add sea salt and herbs such as thyme, bay leaves, cilantro, or rosemary.
5-Simmer (a few small bubbles) for at least an hour, stirring occasionally.

Roasts


1-Dump meat or fish on a greased pan.
2-Dump veggies in a pan. Toss in avocado oil, or any oil with a high smoke point. Make sure veggies with similar cooking times are together.
3-Add desired seasonings, such as sea salt, garlic, onion, ginger, rosemary, thyme, peppers, or cumin.
4-Roast at 400-450 F (205-235 C) until the desired doneness.

Eating Out


It can be hard to stick to a healthy diet when eating out. What to eat depends on your dietary needs, but here are a couple of options that are safe for most people.
Sushi restaurants often have multiple clean options. Many also have whole grain rice and vegan options. Depending on your needs, be careful with spicy rolls, crunchy rolls, and tempuras.


Grilled meat or fish with veggies. Most restaurants offer something like this, even if you have to modify a dish on the menu. You can ask for no sauces or oils, depending on your dietary needs.


If you’re vegan, look for nuts, seeds, and legumes, which will help to fill you up better than the typical vegan options at a non-vegan restaurant (basically, garden salads).

Out with No Healthy Options


Here are some of my favorite healthy snack recipes that are small and travel well. These can be made in large batches and frozen to bring along when you need them. They’re calorically dense so you don’t have to eat much to be on track

-Cinnamon Cookie Dough Bites

-Brownie Dough Bites

-Banana Pillow Bites

If you don’t have time to prep, try:
-Nuts and seeds
-Dried fruit – raisins, figs, dates
-Clean bars made with whole foods, such as RxBars or Truvia The Only Bars.
-Put single servings of clean protein powders in zip locks and mix them into a water bottle.

The key to eating healthy when life is against you is patient persistence. Experimenting to figure out what works for you and for your unique situation is a process. If it doesn’t go smoothly at the beginning, that’s normal. With time, you’ll find what works for you.


In case you’re wondering, I’ve been offering a 5-star program for single moms around the world for 3+ years to help them cherish their lives providing them with meal plans, high-quality exercise workouts, a godly mindset, and much much more.

Interested? Click the link down below now!

I Single Mom Fit to Thrive 30-Day Challenge.

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