Last night I had one of those extremely insecure parenting moments. I felt like there was probably a “right” way to handle the situation, but it was eluding me, so I did my imperfect best.
As the situation was unfolding, part of my brain was analyzing it like a sports commentator. I swear within the same minute it accused me of being overly permissive, and then strict to the point of emotional abusive.
“He’s going to be the problem child in school, and it will be all your fault.”
He’s going to have mental health issues as an adult from childhood oppression and it will be all your fault.”
Can anyone relate to this madness?
Finally, I realized how ABSURD this was, and came to my senses.
Yes, parenting experts probably could have come up with a better response. But they weren’t there. And even parenting experts don’t respond perfectly 100% of the time with their own kids.
There has never been a perfect parent in the history of humanity. Or, perhaps, we are all perfect and our idea of a “perfect parent” is flawed.
The “right” parenting practices depend on the outcomes you want for your kids. Half the advice out there could be from people who want different outcomes from what I do for Eric.
I was doing the best I could in that moment, acting from a place of wanting the best for my son. I routinely seek out resources and experts to challenge my viewpoints and improve my parenting skills. I’m doing my part to be the best mom I can be.
So, I stopped feeding that little voice with attention. I turned inward, searched for a solution, and did what I thought was right for my son.
Minds generate thoughts. It’s what they do. It’s up to us whether we believe them, act on them, or just let them pass.